Week Thirty-Seven: Alphabet Party

Oh, those punsters at the Cokesbury Party Book. Check out how they introduce their, ahem, unique party idea this week:

A novel idea for a social is an Alphabet Party.

I’ll pause a moment while you’re lol-ing all over the place. Huh? Well, you know, novels, they’re . . . you use an alphabet to . . . okay, so it’s not that punny. Maybe not even intended as a pun. But you do have to agree with Cokesbury: an Alphabet Party is certainly a novel idea for a social. Especially if you charge attendees two cents for each letter in their full name, in order to defray party expenses, but come on, how much can sandwiches and ice cream cost?

On to the first game, which is a real corker:

What Letter Is? Each one is given a mimeographed or typewritten sheet of paper on which the following questions are written with the answer left blank:

What letter is

1) An insect? B
2) A large body of water? C
3) A naughty letter? D
4) A slangy letter? G
5) Our busiest letter? I
6) A bird? J
7) Part of a house? L
8) Familiar with Emma? M
9) A verb of debt? O
10) A vegetable that rolls off the knife? P
11) A clue? Q
12) A drink? T
13) The letter you love best? U
14) What green apples do to you? W
15) A sheep? U
16) Direction for a horse? G
17) The questioning letter? Y

This game kinda reminds me of this great Bugs Bunny joke:



I have to confess I tell this joke all the time, and always end it with the “hyuck hyuck hyuck” that Elmer Fudd tacks on. This is why I’m PERFECT for the Cokesbury Party Book.

The game also brings this popular tune to mind. Sing it with your guests if they've really got a wild hair and want to get their groove on, yo.



But then of course Cokesbury is taking the alphabet very seriously here. Kinda like James Earl Jones does in this early, kinda creepy clip from Sesame Street:



He really looks a bit beatnik-ky in this clip. Imagine watching this late at night when you’re really tired and a bit freaked out by the thunder and lightning and that weird creaking your house makes when it’s windy out. I’m getting the shivers.

Yes, the alphabet is serious in Cokesbury land. Here’s your next game to prove my point:

Dumb Spelling Match. A number is selected for this dumb spelling match, or if the group is small the whole group participates. When one spells a word incorrectly, speaks a letter when he should make a sign, or makes the wrong sign, he must sit down. The object is to see who can stand up the longest.

With me so far? Too bad. Because I’m confused as heck. Maybe they explain further:

Words are pronounced by the leader, and should be selected in advance, those being chose that have large number of vowels in them. These are spelled by those participating by speaking the consonants and making the following signs for the vowels: for A the player holds up his right hand. For E he holds up his left hand. For I he points to his eye. For O he points to his open mouth. For U he points to another player. If any of the vowels are spoken, if the wrong sign is given, or the word is spelled incorrectly, the player must be seated. Spell down.

Okay. So aside from not really knowing what they mean by saying “Spell down” at the end of the description, we’ve also got a party built to offend those who are hearing impaired. I’ll give this to Cokesbury: Party after party, they find ways to offend. And this is beyond any modern political correctness; it’s just being mean.

But forget that. You want your Alphabet party to be whimsical. Entertaining. Like this one, thrown by the Three Stooges:



Note when the Stooges encourage the “girls” to sing along, the one guy in the audience takes no offense; he sings too. We need more of this kind of cooperation in the world. Maybe that’s what Cokesbury was trying to achieve with this game:

Spelling Fun. Divide into two, three, or four groups. Each group is given an alphabet on cards six inches square with duplicate vowels. If the group is too small to give each one a letter, the leader should give some two letters. If this is not desirable, take out letter such as Q, Z, X, and J that are not so frequently used before distributing the alphabet. It is not necessary to have a whole alphabet for this game. Each group selects a leader. The object is to see which group can spell the most words in a given time. There should be a scorer selected in advance; and if you have four groups, there should be two scorers. The scorer gives each group a mark for every word spelled. The words are spelled by the leader suggesting the word and the players who hold the letter arranging themselves in the proper order to spell them. Every word spelled counts one score or tally for the group spelling it. The winner has the largest number of tallies when the whistle blows.

Sesame Street purists like me, of course, are cringing. When you do the alphabet, buddy, you do EVERY SINGLE LETTER. You can’t do something like this by skipping those not-so-frequently used letters:



This next game reminds me of a joke a friend of mine liked to tell about how people speak in Tennessee, speaking of doing everything politically incorrect:

A,B,C,D Fish. Much amusement can be caused by the following display of letters which have been written on a cardboard in advance b y the leader:

A B, C D fish.
L, M N O fish.
O, S A R fish.

Of course, you know the answer to this one:

Ask the group to read what is written on the card. Perhaps someone will be clever enough to read it: Abie, see de fish. ‘Ell, ‘em ain’t no fish. Oh, ‘es ‘ey are fish.

And so on. Here’s that longer bit, from Tennessee:

M R snakes.
M R not.
S A R 2. C D EDBD I’s?

You have to say “EDBD” very quickly for the best effect. And I could go on like this. But I won’t. Because traffic here at the Cokesbury Party Blog is pretty dismal and I don’t want to drive my loyal followers away.

Now it’s refreshment time. And there’s a game for it:

Ask the guests what they want to eat. Tell them for an answer they must arrange themselves in formation so as to spell out what menu they want. There will be much fun as they try to get each other into formation. This can take place while the food is being prepared. Serve anything that is thought suitable.

But unless you’ve got a grocery store and a bevy of short order cooks on hand, just do what Cokesbury does and serve alphabet crackers with punch or tea, or apple pie a la mode, despite what your guests spell out. After all, if they spell out caviar, they ought to be bright enough to bring it with them.

Next week’s party is excruciatingly more active than this one. Put on your runnin’ pants for Cokesbury’s Athletic Party.