Week Four: The Mother Goose Party

Just in case you're worried the last few parties have been a bit too sophisticated for your guests, Cokesbury brings in Mother Goose to the rescue, in this case, auguring her goose into the ground in a valiant yet vain attempt to bring life to your party. (These pictures, of an octagenarian mother astride a goose, always bothered me as a kid. Either she's a midget, or that's one of the biggest damn geeses I've ever seen. Either way, I decided, I never wanted to meet her in person. The Mother Goose with the goose clad in an apron and bonnet always seemed a lot less threatening.)

We begin, of course, with the invitation, which invites you into the wild, untamed world of Ogden Nash rhymery:

Old Mother Goose, when
She wants to wander,
Rides through the air
On her very fine gander.

She'll stop any place where
Her children will meet her;
SHe likes jolly crowds
To come out to greet her.

She'll meet all Endeavorers, who'll
Dress up just right,
And come to the Smiths,
On next Friday night.

Send the invitation, of course, with a list of possible costume ideas. Better yet, Cokesbury advises buying and ripping up a Mother Goose rhyme book and distributing the pages among your friends, so no one comes in the same costume. Why not just photocopy the pages? Oh yeah. No photocopiers in 1932.

So here's your first lesson. Which ones on the list are real Mother Goose characters, and which are the fakes?

Simple Simon
The Pieman
Old King Cole
Little Jack Horner
Little Miss Muffet
Bessie Bell
Mary Gray
The Little Man with the Little Gun*
Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary
Diddle, Diddle Dumpling, My Son John
Little Tommy Tittlemouse
Little Polly Flinders
Wise Men of Gotham
Fat Man of Bombay
The Bachelor Who Lived by Himself*

*Not recommended for men with self-esteem problems.

Answer: They're all real, at least according to Cokesbury. Ten dollars to the first one to regale me with the tale of Tommy Tittlemouse.

Now, it's only natural that once you see all of your friends dressed as Mother Goose characters that you get them to do humiliating and embarrassing things while in their costumes. Cokesbury agrees with you. For your first activity, Cokesbury suggests a grand march so participants can show off their costumes. They do not, however, say to whom you're showing off the costumes, because it goes without saying that folks in the grand march, unless it's organized in a large circle, will only get to see the costumes of those in their immediate vicinity during said march. So I recommend taking the march outdoors, preferably on a busy commercial or residential street, so neightbors, businessmen and random passers-by can see the costumes and wonder what kind of freak show has invaded.

Now that the march is over, head back home for charades.

Of Tom, Tom, the piper's son, it is said (Cokesbury reminds us):

Tom, Tom, the piper's son,
He learned to play when he was young;
But all the tune that he could play
was "Over the hill and far away."

Which is not the way I learned it, but I am not as rich with Mother Goose as the folks of 1932. So Cokesbury continues:

So, Tom might also render this or some other number on a horn of some nature. Little Jack Horner might sit down in the corner and start eating pie. The Old Woman can ride her broom. The Queen of Hearts can display some tarts she has made. These are stolen by the Knave of Hearts. Mary ought to improvise some kind of a lamb which she drags around. The other Mary ought to be quite contrary. Little Boy Blue ought to blow his horn. Jack and Jill ought to have a plain and fall down. The old woman who lived in a shoe ought to spank her children and send them to bed.

The message here is not only do you want your friends to be embarrassed, but also belittled by giving them suggestions (and rather lame ones) on how to act out their parts. If the old woman who lives in a shoe neglected to bring her children, she might select volunteers from the audience, I suppose.

On to the next activity.

Blogger's Note: I make fun of Cokesbury a lot. However, this next activity actually sounds kind of fun. Which probably explains why I thought this book was such a lucky find at the thrift store in the first place:

Blackboard Relay. Secure a large blackboard and place it in one end of the room. The players line up in two or more columns facing the blackboard. At a signal form the leader [don't forget you have a whistle] the first one runs to the blackboard and writes a word and runs back, giving the chalk to the one in the front of the line. This one writes another word and one that will follow the first one written and make a sentence. So both lines continue to build a paragraph. A prize may be given to the side that finishes first and also to the side that writes the best paragraph. The prizes should be something that can be divided, like a box fo candy or bag of peanuts.

Again with the peanuts. At least they're real, and plentiful, this time.

Now, remember back to our first Cokesbury party? Remember the makeup kit and red cord you had for the tie-em-up and doll-em-up game? Get them out again because Cokesbury wants you to do that fun all over again. Boys are to "do up" the girls to resemble Mary Pickford, Colleen Moore, Nancy Carroll, or some other popular actress. (Warning: If you click on the Colleen Moore link, you will never, never, never want to go cross-eyed again. This lady has extremely limber eyeballs.)

One you get that image of Colleen Moore's dancing eyes out of your head (allow two to three years for this) you're ready to move on to your next Mother Goose game: Old Maid. Or as Cokesbury calls it, Poisoned Penny, viz:

This game will cause a lot of excitement and hilarity. A penny is given to one player in the circle and passed around among the players as long as music is played. The player who has the penny when the music stops must drop out of the game. No player must hesitate to take the penny when offered to him, but must take it and pass it on quickly. If the group is large, more than one penny should be used.

Whoosh. The party is over. Cool off your guests with either punch and cake, or hot tea and cake. Cokesbury reminds you that "as this party is not connected with any particular season, any refreshments that are convenient and within the means of the one entertaining may be served." So possum stew is obviously an option.

That's it for this week from Cokesbury, folks. Get ready next week for the Valentine Party which is celebrated on a holiday that, according to Cokesbury, is the day of the month of February "that is most conducive to having a good time." Take that as you will. And stuff it, George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.