Week Twenty-Three: Bible Party

Time for a Party!!

It should be noted that I feel sorry for this guy. Or at least feel his pain. I went door-to-door like this for nearly two years in France, finding little success but having a wonderful time getting to know the people i met, including all of the Portugese and Spanish folk who live in France. But I have to admit that when my friends and I get together to play games these days, we don't necessarily get as churchy as this game is.

Here goes, first with an invitation -- something we haven't had in a while:

Come to our Bible Party,
Don't think it will be dry.
We will have a lot of fun,
Or know the reason why.
We'll have laughter games, and stunts galore,
And you'll have a better time,
Without spending a single dime,
Than you've ever had before.

Frankly, when a rhyme has to try so hard to convince you you're going to have fun at a Bible Party, you have to wonder if the invitation doth protest too much. After reading through this party, I have to say yea, verily, there are many protestations.

(I want it noted I'm not poking fun at this party because I'm one of those chic athiests. I'm not, as evidenced here. It's just a boring party, that's all. I've been to scripture-themed parties (and actually created a few myself) that blew books off the shelves from ten feet away and scared the socks off some poor librarians. And that was just when the kettle of clam chowder I was making exploded.)

Here's the first game: Bible Pi.

Slips of paper with a typewritten list of the following names of books of the Bible jumbled are given to the guests. Theya re to write the name of the book by unjumbling the letters:

(1) Karm
(2) Cats
(3) Jonaj
(4) Hajsou
(5) Nessige
(6) Napsehies
(7) Loje
(8) Lemonphi
(9) Kule
(10) Soam
(11) Sutti
(12) Medlai
(13) Numah
(14) Smalps
(15) Whettam
(16) Hacim
(17) Hertes
(18) Morans
(19) Levantoire
(20) Rubmens
(21) Reza

Reading this list helps you realize two things: You now know where Christopher Paolini went to find names for his sundry characters, and you realize that you've just witnessed the birth of a common Internet meme a full fifty years before the Internet was a reality. Bonus points for the first person to identify that meme in the comments section. That is if I had any readers.

Here's another game that's likely to incite stony silence from those in the room. For added fun, take your guests to a public place like a library or courthouse, then watch as the athiests, agnostics and others around you try to prevent their heads from exploding as you play.

Identifying Bible Pictures. Get a series of Bible pictures from one of the teachers of small children of the Sunday School. Hang these from the window curtains and draperies, and lay them on the tables or piano, or hang them on the wall. Have these numbered and give each guest or couple a sheet of paper and ask them to number the paper with as many numbers as there are pictures. Let them guess what the picture represents by number. Give a prize the the one having the largest number correct. New Testaments or small Bibles make good prizes. Other suggestions would be small storybooks like the stories written by Van Dyke, or the Greatest Thing in the World, by Henry Drummond.

Uh-oh. I think I just heard something explode, and I'm not even on public property.

If -- and, given the state of our world these days, this is a big if -- your guests find this game too easy, I'd suggest finding (or drawing) photos or pictures of a few of the more obscure events in the Bible for this game, including when Elisha gets all cranky over some kids calling him baldy. (For lots of athiest angst, I recommend typing "go up thou bald-head" into any search engine. Hours of laughter.)

Here's the next game, lest you think Bible-thumpers never let their hair down, like this guy:

(That's Billy Sunday, by the way, someone Sinclair Lewis detested. Pick up any of his books to find out. Eventually he ambles around to denigrating him, which is is right.)

Bible Character Race. Print the names of the following Bible characters on large squares of cardboard: Adam, Boaz, Caleb, Daniel, Esther, Festus, Goliath, Herod, Isaac, Jonah, Kish, Luke. This is a relay race, so have the party divided into two groups. This may be done by counting off one and two and having all the ones form one group and the twos the other. They form two lines facing each other. The first one in each line is given the twelve cards so that the letters do not come alphabetically. They must be passed down each line one at a time, and the last man must lay them on the floor and arrange them alphabetically. When this is accomplished, he must start passing them one at a time back, passing back Adam first, Boaz next, etc. The first group to have all the cards back alphabetically arranged wins. This could be prolonged by making a race out of it and having the cards go down and back two or three times and then have them arranged the last time.

Your guests will be out of breath after this one, rest assured. And there's always the chance that during the passing of the cards, you'll get a glimpse of a lady's ankle under all the gussets.

Now it's time for even more Bible fun and brings up that anachronism once again: The typewriter. How quaint.

Bible Riddles. Have the following riddles written on slips of paper with a typewriter. The guests are asked to write the answers. Give a prize to the one having the largest number correct:

(1) When is baseball first mentioned in the Bible? Genesis 1:1, in the beginning (the big inning).
(6) In what order did Noah come from the ark? He came forth.
(9) When was paper money first used? When the dove brought the green back to Noah.
(19) Who was the first great financier? Noah. He floated a company when the whole world was in liquidation.
(23) How do we know that there will be no women in heaven? The Bible says that there was silence in heaven for one minute.

You know, these are so good, I don't even wait for a Bible Party to come along before I tell them.

Now it's time for refreshments. No manna, sorry, but you do get cake and ice-cream or cake and iced tea, or, if it's cold, hot chocolate or coffee and sandwiches.

Please tune in next week for the Aquatic Party, which is Out of Doors. Get ready for lots of photos of people in full-length swimming suits, complete with lapels.