Week Eight: The World Tour Party

Have you ever been to Ireland,

Where the River Shannon flows?
Or experienced the spell of the Yukon,
in Alaska, the land of snows?
Then come to our World-Tour Party,
which next Friday evening brings;
We'll have a good time together,

going places and seeing things.

I admit I have a soft spot for immigrants. My father came to the United States from the Netherlands in 1950, so I enjoy bragging that I'm a first-generation American. In showing this Schoolhouse Rock video to our children (yes, I am a child of the 70s, live with it) I've been able to explain a little bit of what it means for many who came and who come to America:



Then there's Cokesbury and its World Tour Party. It tries. Oh, how it tries. But I'll let you judge. First, flag identification. For this, you'd better hope yours is a well-stocked Rotary Club:

Flag Identification. Give paper and pencil to the guests and let them identify the pictures of the flags that have been placed about the room. Those flags may be true pictures of the glags cut from a book or reproduction by hand. Only the more familiar flags should be used, or rather the flags of the larger countriesl. A number of flags may be borrowed from the local Rotary Club, as they use a number of small flags on their tables at their luncheons.

Funny how Cokesbury doesn't mention this when you're decorating, because they recommend festooning the place with flags you've etierh cut out of a magazine or drawn from hand. Maybe they're nervous somethign untoward will happen to the decorations and they want to save you from the wrath of your local Rotarians. If any exist these days.

But let's get this World Tour underway! First stop: Ireland and Irish cliches.

Ireland: Poison Snake. When we think of Ireland, we thingk of snakes, as St. Patrick is supposed to have driven the snakes out of Ireland. Posion Snake is a lively game and quite active. The players all join hands and form a circle. A dozen or more Indian clubs or milk bottles are set around in a smaller circle. The object is to make your comrades knock over the bottles by pulling their hands. Anyone who knocks over a bottle or unclasps hands must leave the circle. The club or bottle is then replaced, and the game continues. The person who is disqualified from the original circle may start another circle with disqualified players, the players disqualified from that circle may start anotyher, and so on. The player who remains longest in the original circle should receive a prize. Take care that the game does not get too rough. The more bottles or clubs used, the less rough the game will be.

Note there is no beer involved. Of course, its use is implied as those who are disqualified are encouraged to start a new circle, and so on, until everyone in the room is supposedly spinning around in a circle with just one other person, madly attempting to knock over bottles or indian clubs -- I have no idea what they're talking about, indian clubs. Let's see if Mr. Internet can help:

Indeed it can. These lovelies are wielding indian clubs used, apparently, in a wide variety of exercises of the day. One wonders how they did so, with those onions hanging on their belts. But their ubiquity explains why Cokesbury talks about them with such abandon.

That aside aside, let's continue. Next world tour destination: England.

First Visit to England: Steeple Chase. Use about six small horses for each group. If you do not want to go to the expense of buying toy horses at the five-and-ten-cent-store, use something to represent a horse, as a bean bag or a ball. All the [groups] form a line. Six horses are placed on a chair at the head of each line. When the leader's whistle blows, the horses start moving down the lines. The players must pass them behind their backs, and all horses must be passed down and laid on a chair at the other end of the line before the first one starts back, and they must be passed back in the same way. The second time they go down the line, each one must stoop over and pass the horse around his right leg, and when all ahve gone down they must be passed back in the same way. The third time they go down the must be passed around the left leg and back the same way. The fourth time thye are passed down one at a time in the regular way. This is the home stretch. The group that gets all six horses back on the original chair first wins.

Got that? Because Cokesbury makes it plain they do not want any mistakes made in this game, probably due to the amount of beer consumed in Ireland. And you indeed did read right. This is only your first visit to England on this World Tour. Here's the next:

Scotland: Golf. Golf is a Scotch game, and when we visit Scotland we should take our golf clubs. Have a golf game. This may be done in a group competition or just with individuals. Get for the group competition three putting practice boards. These can be purchased or borrowed from any sporting goods store. Also cheap boards with a golf hole in them may be purchased from the five-and-ten cent stores. If the groups compete, give each one three trials, and the group that gets the most balls in the hole wins. Provide three golf balls for each group and a putter.

When you go to the sporting goods store to borrow three putting greens, let me know. I want to come and watch current American customer service and trust inaction. That is not a typo. Inaction is the bets you could likely assume you'd get from such a request. Eye-rolling, smirks and outright incredulous laughter would likely follow. Better stick to the cheap putting greens which you can't get from the five-and-ten-cent-stores these days because there aren't any. Maybe you'd better skip golf altogether.

And I've got to say this: I've been to Scotland. Spent more than a day there (yes, I am a true international traveler) and I never once saw a golf club. Must be one of those cliches we've heard so much about. Don't despair. The cliches get better.

Before we leave England, I feel it pertinent to share the kind of game I'd enjoy playing at a World Tour-themed party to celebrate true English heritage. Witness Monty Python's Upper Class Twit of the Year competition:



Now it's time to hop across the English Channel, or as the French call it, La Manche, and head to France for another cliche.

France: Style Show. As France is supposed to set the fashions for the world, a fashion show would be appropriate to represent this country. Have some of the girls bring an extra sport dress, a pair of beach pajamas, or an evening dress, and they pass and exhibit these. If may be made humorous by having some of the boys dress up in girls' clothing, and appear in the fashion show. Some crazy costume, like a bathing suit, rubber boots, and a high silk hat and walking cane, will create a lot of merriment. This stunt can be a very entertaining feature.

I lived in France for a while, too, and support the supposition that France leads the world in fashion. I was so inspired by the French bleu -- the workingman's typical costume, a one-piece affair that basically looks like pajamas -- that I have risen to new levels of slobdom thanks to their inspiration. As for all the haute couture and stuff like that, I can pass.

Now we leave Europe to continue on our World Cliche Tour. Next stop: Japan.

Japanese Crab Race: Boys. Pick about six boys for each of two groups, adn have them run a Japanese Crab Race. Or this can be done by having all the boys, or at least en even number of boys from each group, run. A goal is marked off on the floor about twenty or twenty-five feet away. The player stands on all fours with his heels toward the goal. when the whistle blows, first one starts running backward on all fours like a crab. When he has reached the goal the next one starts, and so on until all have run. The group that finished first wins.

I have no experience with Japan, so I'm not certain that crabs, or crab racing, plays a strong role in Japanese culture. Maybe someone out there can help educate me. Given how well Cokesbury has portrayed other nations, however, I'm fairly sure the representation is skewed.

Now, I promised last week a bit of geographical confusion. Here it comes in the next game.

Charades of Different Countries. Have the [group] again segregate themselves and form a charace to represent their country. Those form England might let London Bridge fall; those from India might dress up someone to represent Mahatma Gandhi; Alaska might drive a dog sled, using others to represent the dogs; Ireland might sing an Irish song, etc.

It is true. Alaska is indeed a foreign country.

Now it's time for refreshments. Try tea and cakes, Cokesbury suggests, because "this will represent both Japan and England as well as many other countries of the world." Could also have tried water, which would have introduced even more countries. But you don't want to be cheap, do you?

That's it until next week, when we celebrate what may be an anachronism in a few years: The Newspaper Party. This will likely involve the Democrats somehow.